When you start doubting yourself,
remember how far you have come.
Remember everything you have faced.
All the battles you have fought and won,
and all the fears you have overcome.
Remember again.
How far have YOU come?
~ Brahma Kumaris Thought for the Day July 7, 2015
Joel and I are now looking back at 15 years. August 1, 2000, we co-presented at Lakeland Regional Medical Center for the first time. Following that presentation, in the few blocks drive back to Holistic Alliance, we had one of our biggest fights. One week later, on August 8, 2000, we presented our second day there and as we drove those few blocks again, we promised one another we would not give up even though it was very challenging.
When Gary Zukav published Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power in 2009, Joel and I had been working together for almost ten years. We had read dozens of books about conscious relating, and I felt as though I had been holding my breath waiting for this one to come out. We knew a lot about life, but even with all the knowledge, I was still experiencing deep frustration and pain within the partnership. Truth be told, we both were.
Prior to our meeting, people who knew us both were saying we needed to meet one another. Our first encounter was brief—little more than exchanging contact information. A compelling encounter for me was a one-day introduction to NLP Joel did at the Holistic Alliance. Failing to recognize what I already knew, I knew immediately I wanted to know more. We agreed to trade services: I would teach Joel energy healing, and he would teach me NLP.
We were quickly enmeshed. The years have revealed multiple layers of our connections, and even our personal mission statements appeared to have been birthed from some common source way beyond time and space. The details of what we know of shared past lives figure in significantly, but for this article those details are not pertinent.
We knew so much, but we were unaware of what we were missing. Interestingly, this is key in our effective work with others using the Subtle Communication Systems (SCS). I did not know, for instance, how the deep wounds around my having been forced to leave high school in the tenth grade affected what I was projecting onto Joel. He was the college professor, and one of the smartest individuals I have met. I did not know that “comparing mind” was holding him in high esteem at my own expense.
We were described as the heart (me) and the head (Joel), and as mirror images. Certainly, our strengths were in different areas. Without question, our shared projects stretched each of us and yielded results neither of us would have been likely to reach independently. There was powerful synergy, and great distress as we were triggering some of one another’s deepest fears. We once drove back to Michigan from Toronto without saying a word to one another. It would have helped if I had been aware of what I was doing in my mind, but I had not yet practiced Vipassana (mindfulness meditation), so I did not know how unconscious I was.
I cried through dinner that night, but that night was not the only time I cried through dinner. Gratefully, we have weathered the miles of our own soul’s journey and we are enjoying a greater ease with one another. That we did not give up is as much grace as commitment, but we have honored the commitment we made to the world and to one another.
Gary Zukav has the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines (Copyright © 2009 The Seat of the Soul Institute) in a printable version on his Website. Looking at them now, I can see so much more clearly where we have been.
You really do have the choice to make your spiritual growth your number one priority. The first point was to notice my reactions and learn about myself rather than blaming Joel. When he became ill with what he calls chronic fatigue, I experienced deep grief (high heart). Seeing him in such a state ended my habitual analyzing and judging. The triggers were not able to generate the old conditioned behaviors. As he began to be able to return to activities he enjoys, such as karate, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
My own health crisis in the fall of 2012 opened another level of integrity in our relating as I had to let go of our teaching schedule. I knew Joel wanted us to continue to co-present, but my body just would not let me put anything on the calendar. I did not understand why we were not to be training (I still don’t), but I began to notice the tension in my body when planning mind was active. Thankfully, as you get better at noticing the tension, you can let it go without making up a story about it.
I was able to notice his frustration without going to guilt or shame. I had compassion for both of us.
We know what we teach is meaningful and changes lives. We thought we would create a training organization. We thought we would have trainers who were teaching our stuff. Say only that has not come to be. We still have several hundred copies of our Healing with Language training manual we would like to donate somewhere they will be put to good use. Please share with us if you have leads about those being put to good use.
I now treasure all we have been able to do together. Recently we had an impromptu meeting with a former SCS student. She shared all the ways she has been using the awareness and skills and tools she learned with us. Although things did not go the way we dreamed, awareness of our spiritual partnership has enabled us to touch others. The students we had the honor of teaching are affecting the world we all live it.
What is coming? Time will tell. For now, we remember how far we have come….