John Lennon of Beatles fame is quoted as having said, Life is what happens while you are making other plans. Another poet, Robert Burns, said, The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Truth be told, very little in life goes according to plan, and that may well be a good thing.
As Jean-Paul Sartre pointed out in his play, “No Exit,” other people are the problem. Sartre says, Hell is other people. There’s no getting away from the fact that no one gets exactly what he or she wants in life, and the reason for that is “other people.” The irony is that life without other people would be even more miserable than life with others.
Life is always a matter of compromise. We need other people to get what we want in life, and they will help us get what we want only if we help them get what they want. The Latin expression, quid pro quo, or “This for that,” is often translated into English as “One hand washes the other.” Humans, and all mammals for that matter, need others to survive and thrive.
A few rugged individuals, like the so-called “lone wolves” that do not belong to a pack, can face the wilderness on their own, but everyone begins life as part of tribe. As infants, we all need others to care for our basic needs. One of the ways that parents disposed of unwanted children in the old days was, in fact, simply to abandon them in the wilderness. The abandoned children were not expected to live.
As an infant, Oedipus of Greek Myth was (in the story) left to die of exposure because it had been prophesied that he would kill his father the king and then marry his mother. He was, however, rescued and adopted. He grows up knowing nothing about his birth and parents. As an adult, he gains power and becomes a king, eventually fulfilling the prophesy. Yes, the play is a tragedy….
My life experience suggests that John Lennon is essentially correct. When I was in elementary school, I thought I would grow up to be a fighter pilot. One of my uncles was in the air force as a fighter pilot, and I considered him a role model. I liked to read, but it didn’t occur to me that I might actually be able to earn a living by reading. Nevertheless, when I started college, I discovered how much I enjoyed learning and reading. I became an English literature major, and eventually earned a Ph.D. and spent most of my adult life as an academic.
But life really seems to be what happens while you are making other plans. When I finished my doctorate, there were very few jobs teaching literature. I had, however, been teaching business communication classes to support my graduate education, and business communication jobs were available.
One thing led to another, and I ended up teaching business communication and related courses in a college of business. Fortunately, I did well in that field. It wasn’t what I planned, but I did the best I could to take advantage of the opportunities presented to me.
I think that is the essence of the secret of success. Make the best choices you can as you go through life. You can’t always control what choices are made available, but, in making the best choice you can each time you have opportunity, the general trajectory of your life will be in the right direction.
I very much agree with the sentiments expressed by the Rolling Stones in their hit song, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”: