Debra’s article this month is about the benefits of the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), commonly known as “tapping.” The tapping sequence definitely works for a lot of people seeking emotional freedom, and you might be one of them. Then again, you might not be. It doesn’t work for me.
The key to achieving emotional freedom from fear and anxiety—and to achieving a variety of goals that require the cooperation of body, mind, and spirit—is finding what works for you. You may discover that tapping is wonderfully effective for you, and it’s definitely worth trying. But, as is true for everything, if what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else. That includes “tapping.” If it doesn’t work for you, try something else. You have plenty of options. NLP includes a number of techniques designed to address the kinds of problems tapping is typically used to address. Try them all, and find the one that works best for you. The main thing is that, if what you’re doing hasn’t worked after a number of attempts, try something else.
Both Debra and I are fond of what’s usually called “Ericksonian Hypnosis.” The principal difference between the approach to hypnosis used by Dr. Milton Erickson, M.D., and what’s usually called “directive” hypnosis, is that Erickson adapted his technique to the needs of the individual. A long time ago, Dr. Ernest R. Hilgard developed a scale to measure susceptibility to hypnosis. The scale was based on a standard induction technique. Some people responded to it really well, while others did not respond at all. The Hilgard scale reflected how well people responded to a standardized induction. Repeating “You are getting sleepy, sleepy, sleepy…” in a monotone just doesn’t work for everyone.
Erickson’s approach was different. He changed his induction routine to take advantage of what he observed was working. Hilgard was a believer in “one size fits all,” while Erickson believed that the hypnotist was responsible for adapting to the needs of the client or patient. Hilgard and his followers were able to hypnotize a relatively small percentage of individuals. Erickson was able to hypnotize everyone.
Whether we are working on ourselves or on someone else and and regardless of what we want to change, it’s worth remembering that the principle is “different strokes for different folks.” Affirmations, for example, work really well for some people and not so well for others. If you try using an affirmation and find that it isn’t working for you, change the affirmation. Said differently, the same concept might work wonderfully well. One of the keys for me is phrasing my affirmation in a way that allows for change and “growth.”
The originator of affirmations, Émile Coué, used affirmations that encouraged movement in the desired direction: “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” If you are not yet your ideal weight, repeating the affirmation, “I am my ideal weight,” probably won’t help. You would be better off saying, “Every day, in every way, I am working to achieve my ideal weight.” This kind of affirmation not only sets direction, but also serves as a reminder for what you want.
Will such affirmations work for everyone? Probably not … but the right affirmation has a much better chance of working than something you already know to be false. The main thing is that once you have set a goal—established a desired outcome—keep looking until you find a technique or strategy that works for you. The chances are that it will be something that has already worked for someone else, but it might also be something completely new. As you explore the possibilities, you may be surprised at the ways your unconscious mind will provide you with clues about what will work wonderfully well for you.
If you have something you want to change—whether it’s amplify, diminish, or eliminate completely—find a quiet time and place to think about how you might best change it now, and then quietly contemplate what approach would work best. Try that approach for a reasonable amount of time, days or perhaps weeks, depending. If it doesn’t seem to be working, try something else. Remember that what made Erickson effective 100 percent of the time was his willingness to be completely flexible in adapting to the needs of his patients. You can do the same, whether meeting your own needs or those of others.
And when you find what works for you, please let Debra and me know.