If we are aware in a compassionate, focused way, we plant seeds of compassionate focused awareness that lets things go and lets things be. Joyful feelings are free to arise without creating clinging, and painful states can arise without expressing themselves in harmful ways.
~ Ben Connelly, “Cleaning Out the Storehouse”
I’ve been reading a new release by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry: What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. This book looks at the neuroscience of brain development and trauma. And get this straight — although some people live through more agreed-to-be-traumatic experience than others, all human beings develop through this lens of the reptilian brain.
From What Happened to you?: “Your brain is doing exactly what you would expect it to do considering what you’ve lived through.”
This all fits in with SCS/NLP perfectly.
Imagine if every ‘acting out’ behavior was met with this kind of reassurance!
Even the diagram of the hierarchical organization of the human brain from What Happened to You? correlates to the information on the Drama Triangle (as developed by Stephen B. Karpman, M.D.), along with a Cognitive Triangle and Transrational Pyramid presented in Healing with Language (Bowman and Basham, 2008).
Recently I had a text-message exchange about a 2019 docudrama titled “Dark Waters,” based on a lawsuit against DuPont for dumping millions of pounds of cancer-causing chemicals into the Ohio river. (See: DuPont c8 Litigation)
I copied a summary sentence from fact-check in my reply to the person who suggested I watch “Dark Waters”: “Just because there really is something in the water doesn’t mean you can’t also be paranoid.”
You may not have previously considered how each of us developed through this Drama Triangle.The Drama Triangle is the impetus for all of our social programs, every one of our political opinions, and even our religious beliefs – regardless of what religion we have chosen to participate in.
Wondering now if you will join me as we imagine a world without this being the case….
Yes, every experience flows through our reptilian brain (brain stem), but our reactions do not have to come from there. Thankfully, we also have a cortex!
You can think of your frontal cortex as your working memory. This is where you have high-level cognitive function: thinking clearly, having a sense of how things are connected…. these spontaneously generate effective social-emotional evaluation of stimuli.
I have not read all of What Happened to You?, but I have already begun sharing information with others.
In Healing with Language, we learn to listen to the words and phrases others use. We also learn to pay attention to when a role has been activated within us.
Here is a partial list that helps you can pay notice the language of the Drama Triangle:
I can’t…, you won’t…, this always happens to me…, nothing ever goes my way….
You always…, you never…, you must…, if you know what is good for you, you will…
You can count on me…, let me help you…, let me do that for you….
Watch out for universal quantifiers and qualifiers, implying erroneously that something s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s across all times and contexts.
By contrast to roles, the Transrational Pyramid describes you as an awake and aware observer. Seeing that the real battles are all within, one begins to trust the process of life, and accepts and loves what is because it is part of the All That Is.
That doesn’t mean that we have given up involvement in beneficial causes and activities. We do so from a more peaceful and less judgmental perspective.
There is an often told story of the Buddha. He was walking down a road after his enlightenment when a man stopped him, being struck by the deep peace and joy that radiated from him. “Are you a God?” the man inquired.
“No,” the Buddha replied.
“Well, what are you?” the man asked.
“I am awake!” came the answer.
Perhaps that will become the most clear understanding of what happened to you….
* You can read the entire article by Ben Connelly, “Cleaning Out the Storehouse,” at Tricycle Magazine.