• Army goes to the mall for recruits [Recruits are so fussy these days….]
• Bedbugs go back to school [Couldn’t they get a GED instead?]
• The Internet makes me feel fat [Perhaps exercising instead would help….]

But … on to today’s subject:

If you’re like most adults, you can recall how much time you spent dreaming when you were a child. If you are a parent, you doubtless can also remember how many dreams—including nightmares—your children have had along the way to adulthood. You may recall that when you were growing up, your dreams were usually bright, vivid, and seemingly “real.” You may, in fact, recall waking up absolutely convinced that what you had “seen” was real, only to be told by a parent that it was “just” a dream.

• Man drowned by tractor [Must have been a revenge crime….]
• Garage Hopping Grows [I hope mine doesn’t take up the sport.]
• Rubber sidewalks protect beer kegs [Your tax dollars at work….]

But … on to today’s subject:

Unless you’ve had your head under a rock recently, you are undoubtedly aware of the media’s recent “feeding frenzy” over John Edward’s extracurricular relationship and his reluctance to tell others about it. In the midst of the news coverage, I couldn’t help but notice how many of those who have been most shrill in their condemnation of the evil he has done are themselves—well—obese. That led me to wonder….

• More Money for Crime [So we can buy more of it?]
• Foreclosure flings soar [From foreplay to foreclosure?]
• Support Right to Bare Arms [Especially in summer…]

But … on to today’s subject:

One of the fundamental NLP presuppositions (based on the work of Alfred Korzybsky) is that the map is not the territory. This is true not only for physical maps and the territory they supposedly depict, but also for the mental maps we construct to represent what we think of as reality. Most people have used a street map to drive from one place to another, only to discover that not all the streets did what the map showed, with streets showing as through streets on the map, turning into dead ends in the territory. When you encounter such a situation, you undoubtedly conclude that the map is “wrong” and that the territory is “right.” I suspect that you blame the map for the difference rather than curse the territory.

• Pakistan Wows To 'Weed Out' Taliban agents [Wows and vows?]
• Sleep apnea sufferers more likely to die [And I had been thinking that everyone would die eventually….]
• Man seriously hurt in mobile home stabbing [Never stab a mobile home…]

But … on to today’s subject:

Most of us have heard the phrase, “Six degrees of separation,” in reference to personal connections: those whom we know directly represent one degree of separation. We are two-degrees of separation from everyone they know, and we are three-degrees of separation from everyone those people know, and so on. The idea is that the distance between any two people anywhere on earth is no more than six degrees of separation.

• Naked Passenger Causes Flight Diversion [I can understand that….]
• Crude on the Rise [Must be cable TV….]
• Less Drivers = Less Accidents [Less Ignorance = Fewer Errors….]

But … on to today’s subject:

“Anchoring” is the term that NLP uses for stimulus-response conditioning. Much of our (human) behavior is influenced by anchors that have been set over the years, from traffic signals and signs, to names that we associate with faces, to the meanings we ascribe to words. The word “run,” for example, is an anchor—a stimulus—that has a variety of meanings—responses—based on the context in which it is used.

• On Force 29 Minutes, Squad Car Wrecked [The car evidently needed more training. ]
  
• Dead Doctors Used in Scams [Perhaps the live ones wouldn’t cooperate.]

But … on to today’s subject:

Jonathan Swift raised eyebrows and tempers in 1729—when many in Ireland were starving—with an essay entitled “A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick.” Swift’s “Modest Proposal” was that the Irish could ease their economic difficulties by selling children born into poverty as food for rich ladies and gentlemen. To support his argument, Swift includes a list of preparation styles and calculations showing the financial benefits of his suggestion.

• FBI Crime Down [How much crime did the FBI have before it went down? ]
  
• Don’t Fear the Vista from Your Windows [Don’t think of elephants….]

But … on to today’s subject:

One of the best-known comedy routines of all time is “Who’s on First,” by Abbott and Costello. In rounding the bases of a baseball team, Abbott and Costello go from Who to What to I Don’t Know. Abbott says that Who is on first, What is on second, and I don’t know is on third. He then asks, “Who’s on first.” Costello replies, “I don’t know.” Abbott says, “He’s on third. We’re not talking about him now.” It’s a Dizzy Dean of a trip.

• Two-armed Suspect on the Loose [As opposed to a one-armed bandit?]
  
• Midwest Floods Devastate May Raise Food Prices [Midwest flood devastation?]

But … on to today’s subject:

Yes, this is another blog about the way politicians (and their kissing cousins, “political operatives”) use language. Even though they may not always avoid the inappropriate use of negative commands, (such as, “Don’t vote for my opponent!”), they tend to be pretty crafty at using presuppositions.

• Cindy’s Cookie Copied
  
• Science proves bikinis turn men into boobs

But … on to today’s subject:

If John McCain had remembered what people thought when Richard Nixon said, “I am not a crook,” he probably would have avoided saying, “I am not George Bush.” The strange way the brain interprets negative language has been well known for years, and yet negative constructions—in places with undesirable consequences—abound. Among the common examples of what are considered negative commands are the following:

• Clinton, Osama meet to discuss unity
  
• Teen points gun as school bus driver

But … on to today’s subject:

In some ways, the headlines I select for “Today’s Headlines” are examples of Metamodel violations. In other ways, they are just bad grammar or typographical errors, but—for those not familiar with the vocabulary of NLP—let’s start with a brief overview of the Metamodel.