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Today’s Headlines:
- FBI Crime Down [How much crime did the FBI have before it went down? ]
- Don’t Fear the Vista from Your Windows [Don’t think of elephants….]
But … on to today’s subject:
One of the best-known comedy routines of all time is “Who’s on First,” by Abbott and Costello. In rounding the bases of a baseball team, Abbott and Costello go from Who to What to I Don’t Know. Abbott says that Who is on first, What is on second, and I don’t know is on third. He then asks, “Who’s on first.” Costello replies, “I don’t know.” Abbott says, “He’s on third. We’re not talking about him now.” It’s a Dizzy Dean of a trip.
One of the things about language is that it presupposes a predictable logic, and violations of that logic typically result in either humor or confusion. Abbott and Costello caused their linguistic mayhem by Abbott’s use of pronouns as names, while Costello used them as pronouns. Less artful examples of linguistic confusion abound. An article about how to get a better night’s sleep, for example, says, “Exercising five or six hours before bed time can also help.” I don’t know about you, but if I exercised for five or six hours, I’d probably collapse, whether into sleep or otherwise.
Sometimes all it would take to enhance the logic of a sentence would be the addition of a word or a mark of punctuation. It would make a difference, for example if the headline had been “FBI Reports Crime Down.” It would also make a difference if we were told, “Exercise five or six hours before you intend to go to bed.” Sometimes it would help to change a word or phrase: “Enjoy the Vista from Your Windows” would have avoided the unintended focus on fear.
In some cases, it’s hard to tell whether a lack of clarity was deliberate. One commercial says, “This summer only at Bob Evans.” Does “only” apply to this summer, or does it apply to Bob Evans: “This summer only”? “Only at Bob Evans”? Does it apply to both? In this case, the ambiguity probably doesn’t make a difference. In other cases, where a modifier is placed in a sentence can make a big difference:
- Only I will kiss her.
- I will only kiss her.
- I will kiss only her.
- I will kiss her only.
It’s OK if the predictable logic of a sentence takes an unexpected turnas long as the end result makes sense. When asked how he became a war hero, John F. Kennedy replied, “It was involuntary; they sank my boat.” The reporter who asked the question was undoubtedly hoping for an extended tale of heroic deeds, and JFK’s response shifted the focus away from the heroic deeds he had performed to the accident of circumstance that made them necessary. (A Japanese destroyer had smashed Kennedy’s PT boat, which sank in flames. Kennedy rescued his crew.)
What a difference a label makes. One of the terms we’ve been hearing a lot lately is “flip-flop.” As the election draws closer, we’re sure to have an increase in “flip-flop frenzy.” The question is how can we tell the difference between a legitimate and appropriate change of mind and a flip-flop? Most of us remember John Kerry’s comment that he voted for the war before he voted against it. Was it a flip-flop or a genuine change of mind and/or heart?
The principal problem leading to flip-flop finger-pointing may be the desire of politicians and their “surrogates” to speak in sound bites when what we really need are well-reasoned explanations for changes in policy or direction. Circumstances change, and holding views that no longer apply is more likely to bring disappointment than success. Had Kerry avoided the pithy for/against comment and instead focused on how circumstances had changed, he might have avoided the flip-flopper label.
In the current electioneering, we’ve already seen politicians giving each other the flip-flop finger with some regularity. It takes more time, of course, to explain a change of mind or heart than it does to issue a sound bite, and it also takes more time to evaluate such a change than it does to label it a flip-flop. Of course, that kind of discourse is not well-suited to the fast-paced information environment we are currently in. To understand the reasons for changes of mind would require that we understand the issues, such as NAFTA, FISA, or the logical consequences of increased exploration for oil.
It is, of course, a lot easier to latch onto sound bites, which is why media journalists love them, politicians use them, and the public repeats them. As Walt Kelly’s Pogo observed in an exquisite sound bite, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
In an effort to discover what he wants to know, Costello asks, “When you pay off the first baseman, who gets the money?” Abbot replies, “Every dollar of it.”
For a complete transcript, of the “Who’s on First” routine, see Who's on First?. You might be surprised to discover how much it sounds like current political discourse.
Just a little something to think about while you are contemplating the real meaning of Independence Day….
joel@scs-matters.com
www.scs-matters.com
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