I recently had an amazing consultation with some experts who did a free 30 minute analysis of our home page. Although—as Quin McGlaughlin phrased it—the feedback was “brutally honest”, overwhelming, a lot to take in, it was a spiritual experience for me. I appreciated the way Quin stayed present with me while delivering difficult-to-hear information. I was grateful he presented options in small enough bites that I could deal with. And, lastly, I was touched deeply by his kindness and compassion when, at the end of our meeting, he provided his personal email address and told me I could make contact with him moving forward. “As you make changes, if you want someone to look over your shoulder, just send me an email. No charge for this, Debra.”
I choked back tears as I thanked Quin and Adam Wallace, the contact who had set up the meeting with Quin for me. (Check out http://meclabs.com/).
I resonated with the language Quin used. I appreciated that what he said—the way he said it—made sense to me. He talked about those who visit the page not knowing who we are, what they can do with us, or the value of Subtle Communication Systems in their lives. People think and feel and are being driven by other-than-conscious processes. He said we need to reduce the sheer volume of information, organize the necessary information in a way that is logical to them, so it is easy for them to take the action that is going to bring benefits to their lives. Meclabs has over 25 years of data showing this is a scientifically observable process.
As I listened and quickly scrawled notes, I was simultaneously aware of the truth that these comments totally fit Subtle Communication Systems. Currently, Joel and I are looking at the Healing with Language NLP skills/tools as they apply to helping the angels who work in the hospice field every day. We are focusing on specific training of communication excellence in nine “sensitive scenarios” that hospice associates navigate regularly.
One of those sensitive scenarios is communicating simply and honestly what hospice is, how you know if it is time for hospice care, and what receiving hospice care entails. This subject is very personal to me right now, having had my mother-in-law at home with hospice care for six months last year. Hospice care enabled her wish to live in her own home until the end of her life to be her reality. Patients and family members sometimes think choosing hospice care means there is no hope. Quite the opposite!
Robert Dilts (see Sleight of Mouth:The Magic of Conversational Belief Change, 1999) codified a number of the most effective linguistic patterns that facilitate change into what have been known as the “sleight of mouth” patterns.
In 2010, while I was in Thailand, the woman who brought me there to teach her NLP was involved in a lawsuit. Using the sleight of mouth patterns resulted in a favorable outcome for her, for the Thai people, and for Buddhism.
News reporters were insinuating that in having filed a lawsuit about an event that had taken place several years earlier, she was violating the Buddhist way of letting go. Her response, “By filing the lawsuit now, I am honoring the Buddhist principle of letting go: I am letting go of fear and intimidation and embarrassment.”
Regular readers of the Beyond Mastery Newsletter, or those who have been fortunate to study Subtle Communication Systems, already recognize the power of language. Language has the power to help or hurt, to heal or injure, to conjure confusion and fear or create clarity and peace.
When my grandson, Brad, was starting his senior year of high school, he was having an internal conflict about playing football or not. Having experienced a serious injury that resulted in surgery and a long rehabilitation made him less than desirous of being out on the field, but the coach and other players really wanted him back and he hated the idea of “quitting the team.”
Of course, he could not feel good about making the decision to spare his body the risk of competitive sports when he was thinking of that as quitting the team. I used a simple NLP tool to reframe the thought. He discovered a love of theater his senior year, something that would not have been available to him had he decided to play football.
Thankfully, when an individual is medically eligible for hospice it is not about giving up hope, but rather a wise, loving, supportive choice of comfort care rather than aggressive treatment in the curative care model. And when someone has a limiting belief about hospice care or anything else, using language skillfully is the most compassionate and kind thing you can do. Now, that is really optimization, isn’t it… Let us know if you want to know more.