When you have the opportunity to do something that is life-changing for another human being, it is also life-changing for you as well. That was certainly my thought as I watched the first auditions for So You Think You Can Dance. A young woman trying out of for the competition, did very well. Nigel Lythgoe asked where she was from and what she did there. She told him she had to stay where she was because she had a young dance troupe who were right there in the audition hall with her!
Those young dancers were suddenly on that stage (and later on National TV) dancing with one of their idols, show judge Jason Derulo. All I could think of was how their lives would be changed because of that opportunity. At the same instant I said, “Life-changing,” Joel whispered he had just had that same thought! We decided on the theme for our July Beyond Mastery Newsletter at that moment.
Of course, life-changing experiences are not all as exciting and fun as that one was for those young dancers. Sometimes traumatic events change our lives, too—as was the case of Louis Zamperini (Olympic athlete turned war hero). He ended up going to Tokyo as a POW, rather than to compete there in the Olympics as he had hoped. After his plane crashed several hundred miles from Oahu, Hawaii, surrounded by sharks, shot at by Japanese runners from above—without food or water—it is nothing short of miraculous that he survived. Years later, still plagued by night terrors of his ordeal, his wife insisted he go hear Evangelist Billy Graham speak. He never had the nightmares again. Life-changing….
In 1841, Solomon Northup, a free-born African American from New York, was offered a traveling musician’s job and went to Washington, D.C. where he was kidnapped, and sold as a slave. In his first year of freedom, Northup wrote and published a memoir, Twelve Years a Slave (1853). He lectured on behalf of the abolitionist movement, giving more than two dozen speeches throughout the Northeast about his experiences, to build momentum against slavery. Life-changing….
In early June, (at 11:11 pm) I received an email message from my website:
I don’t know if you remember me or not. I was a patient at Kalamazoo Psychology in the early 2000’s, and you helped bring me out of a dissociative stupor. I would love to see you again, to say thank you if nothing else. I will be in the Kalamazoo area roughly June 28 to July 3rd. If it’s not possible, please know that I’m thinking of you every day with tremendous gratitude.
Neale Donald Walsch writes, “All true benefits are mutual.” Meeting this client was certainly life-changing for both of us. You see, she was diagnosed with and had been being treated for Severe Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as multiple personality disorder), a mental process which produces a lack of connection in a person’s thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. It is thought to be an effect of severe trauma during early childhood. It is not unusual that I would remember her, but it borders on miraculous that she remembers me!
Another life-changing story is the experience of Ara Lucia Ashburne. When I heard Ara speak I was aware of the tragedy she lived through, but I also felt her strength and humility and compassion. Ara is an artist, author, speaker, and advocate for bringing mental illness out of the closet and into the light of compassionate understanding. Her mental illness almost killed her—or should I say her doctor’s prejudice about mental illness almost killed her. This blurb is about Ara’s book, Reconstruction: First a Body Then a Life:
When an illness ravages her body and exhumes her disturbing past, can a tattered psyche ever recover?
“Somehow, I’m caught between these worlds. I can’t get back to Life, I can’t get to Death. I’ve somehow fallen into a crack—Between. And this time, I can’t find the way out. If there is a portal that leads back to Life, I don’t know where it is.”
Reconstruction is a gripping must-read debut that reveals the beauty and resilience of the human spirit.
Take a few minutes to watch a short video of Ara’s talk so you can help put an end to the stigma of mental illness. You may be moved to buy Ara’s book, friend her on Facebook, tell others about her journey, and encourage appropriate groups to have her come speak. You see, her story is our story on steroids. She was (and we are) vulnerable to the systems and prejudices and fears that shape our educational, medical, religious, and cultural experiences. At one point in her long road to recovery, she was suicidal. Statistics around suicide are staggering.
- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for all ages. (CDC)
- Every day, approximately 105 Americans die by suicide. (CDC)
- There is one death by suicide in the US every 13 minutes. (CDC)
- Depression affects 20-25% of Americans ages 18+ in a given year. (CDC)
- Suicide takes the lives of over 38,000 Americans every year. (CDC)
- Only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment. (NAMI)
One year ago a beloved family member was struggling with severe alcoholism, depression, and despair. With the relationship to his son in serious jeopardy, he reached out. He used Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping), counseling, and appropriate medication to achieve sobriety. He has pulled his life together. Every day we give thanks for the events (including a DUI) that were life-changing.
Jack Kornfield has been a Buddhist practitioner for over 40 years, introducing mindfulness and vipassana meditation to many of us here in the West. You might treasure his book, A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life. You will find that compassion, lovingkindness and mindful presence is life-changing.